I wanna be the Million Gatejump

Creator: OccultCube

Average Rating
0.0 / 10
Average Difficulty
95.6 / 100
[Download Not Available]


Special (2) Gate_jump (2)


  • by Xplayerlol
  • by Klazen108
  • by Xplayerlol
  • by Xplayerlol

14 Reviews:

Rating based on the Version 1.0.
Ladies and gentlemen, we have a Desert Bus fangame.
Basically, there's a really small screen with a gate jump and a counter at 1000000. You jump through the gate, and the counter goes down by one. You die, the counter goes up by five. It's simple, yet extremely awfully beyond horrible, and way too unreasonable.
Just so that you can understand how unreasonable this game is, let's make a progressive analysis. The gate jump is pretty much a fangame joke. It's left at the end of difficult saves to mock the player and get some choke deaths from careless players. Not a big deal. 10 gates are something you'd see in a Uhuhu Spike save. Hardly anything to worry about. 100 gates, when done quickly, can be finished within a minute, if you don't die too many times. Even 1000 gates can still be done as a joke if you're bored, as it won't take you much longer than 10 minutes. With 10000 gate jumps, however, things get a bit more serious. You're most likely up for 2 hours of gameplay, and that if you're really focused.
The 100000 mark is way more serious than anything up to this point. Let's remember that you have a life too. You have to, at the very least, eat, drink some water and sleep. And, if you're not playing this during your holidays, let's not forget the time you'll spend at school/work (Maybe both?). Let's not forget that, depending on the family you have, they might not care if you're playing a gate jump game. You'll still have to wash the dishes, cook, or whatever house chores you usually need to do. If you live alone, it's even worse because you'll have to do everything by yourself. And let's not get started on specific events that might happen and make you waste MORE time. I say "waste time" because, by the time you reach the 100000, beating this game will most likely already be your life goal, and everything else will be just a waste of time. And EVEN if you don't have too many things to do, each 1000 is extremely unhealthy, and makes you more and more tired, and you get less and less focused on the game. So, you also need to get some rest once in a while. With so much wasted time in a day, you'll be lucky if you can reach 40000 gates in a day (Which you probably won't. Really). The 100000th gate is a rewarding achievement that makes you look at the world in a very different way. If you reach this point, you can already pull off a very interesting trick. From this point on your life on, if you ever come across something really boring that you absolutely need to do, you can just look at it and think to yourself "Well, at least it's no Million Gate Jump. I can do it, easily".
And by the time you reach the 1000000th gate, well, you won't have any reason to celebrate anymore. It's far beyond the point where you celebrate, far beyond the point where you can feel happy about it, far beyond the point where you cry "I understand now! I see the world in a different way now! I learned everything that you had to teach me, now please LET ME GO!", far beyond the point where you actually care anymore. You'll have wasted at least 25 days on this thing, but I really doubt that it'll actually be such a short time. At this point, you know that you wasted a huge amount of time from your life for no reason at all other than being able to tell yourself "I did it. I didn't back down at all", or, if you are more like me, "Wow. Now, I have the rarest fangame clear. Yay!". On a game that is no more than pressing shift-left and shift-right. It's far beyond the point where you even bother with asking yourself "Why am I playing this?".
Your reward for going through this hell and making the counter reach 0...Is being able to do another gate jump and reaching the -1 in the counter. If you reset (F2) the game by this point, the counter will go full retard and you'll be faced with the biggest absurd of all time: The counter will show you a counter of 256000002 (Or something among these lines, I did a couple jumps, so I'm not sure about the exact value), which left me speechless. Don't forget to screenshot your clears!

The maker actually bothered with making a Version 2.0, which I downloaded on the release date, expecting it to be an update with a clear screen (Yes, I already expected the game to not have a Clear Screen before beating it. Just look at the game and tell me if you'd expect THIS to actually have a Clear Screen). And believe it or not, this version is WORSE than the first one. The counter is bright red and the numbers are much bigger than before, so goodbye eyes. The best way of dealing with this part is reaching the "10" in the Version 1.0, copying the Version 1.0 Save and sending it to the Version 2.0 file. But that's only the beginning.
Once you reach the 0, something actually happens in this version. Instead of a -1, you are sent to a room with a diamond in the middle, and then, there's a boss. It's one of those Gate Cherries that you can see in some particularly awful fangames: A small horizontal corridor, the boss throws a bunch of gate jumps and diamonds at you (Random speeds, of course). But this Gate Cherry's HP is simply absurd. It's unreasonable (Once again). The maker just-so-happened to have left God Mode in this version (100% playtested with God Mode, amazing), so I simply gave up on trying to beat V2.0, defeated the boss with God Mode and reached a dead end: You are sent to a room with a portal in the lower right corner and a small area in the ceiling with an invert in the middle. The portal teleports you to a random spot of the room. If you manage to be teleported to the ceiling area, you can do the Invert to trigger two spikes that don't do absolutely anything at all. There's no fake block, no invisible warp, nothing. It's an absolute dead end. I'd call it the Clear Screen, and it's easily one of the worst Clear Screens I've ever seen.

One of the simplest fangames I've ever played, yet easily the worst. Highly not recommended.

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[20] Likes
Rating: 0.0 0       Difficulty: 95 95
Dec 29, 2015
A steaming pile of fat dog shit, just a gate jump simulator. Not going into to many details because xplayerlol already did that and he said everything that needed to be said.

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Tagged as: Special
[2] Likes
Rating: 0.0 0       Difficulty: 99 99
Aug 8, 2016
Jumping kid is kawaii.

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[1] Like
Rating: 0.0 0       Difficulty: 90 90
Nov 29, 2015

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[1] Like
Rating: 0.0 0       Difficulty: 98 98
Nov 29, 2015
I mean, at least you don't have to do 1,000,000 gate jumps IN A ROW like hectocorner.
Still, this is bad.
When you have 10+ reviews and an average of 0.0 rating, you know you've published some trash.

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Tagged as: Gate_jump
[0] Likes
Rating: 0.0 0       Difficulty: 90 90
Jul 9, 2016