I wanna ascend the 69

Creator: Stonk

Average Rating
6.8 / 10
Average Difficulty
73.6 / 100
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Needle (11) Trap (3) Gimmick (2) x_Floor (4) 69_Floor (2)


  • by Xplayerlol
  • by Xplayerlol
  • by Xplayerlol
  • by Bob
  • by Bob
  • by Bob

19 Reviews:

This started off being a floor game that seemed to have a lot of effort put into it with the needle getting harder but still staying fun to play. There were even some gimmicks and a trap stage thrown into the early stages to make the needle stand out from the rest of the floor games released around that time which I very much appreciate. There were also a few cutscenes added in for the extra polish and continuity. They weren't the best but were still good enough to watch after you finished a stage.

Unfortunately for me, this didn't last that long. Around floor 25 the game shifted from somewhat cool needle to downright spamming generic jumps like diagonals, weird corner setups which lasted for the entire remaining duration of the game. It just kept on going to no end. This game also like to throw triggers at you which always force you to backtrack through the same needle you've done before with little to no changes to the overall difficulty. It's just extra padding to make the game feel longer.

The gravity flipper stage was the last thing I actually enjoyed before it really went downhill. There were a few iffy jumps here and there and some backtracks were also present near the later part of the stage but it isn't anything major compared what's coming next, which is the red background stage. It really goes full force on the most dull and pathetic jumps you can think of. At this point it's your typical 1 save screen littered with more gates and very chokable jumps, much worse than what's done before. It's just very tiresome and frustrating to grind, and it would have been so much better if the maker atleast placed down more than one save throughout the screen instead of there only being one at the start (which actually happens later on a few times, but unfortunately most of the screens still have 1 save in them). The last floor of this stage is very lazy and just throws a double diamond and a regular diamond at you to make it seem hard for the player.

Floor 61-69 seems to be more of the same except a lot more cancerous than it needs to be. There's a super hard jump at the end of floor 61 which seems super out of place because it's way harder than everything else on the screen. Like I mentioned before most of the screens still seem to stick to one save while adding more would have made the game more pleasant to grind. Floor 69 is an absolute mess: The first save is a mismash of garbage jumps and a forced backtrack where the hardest jump is right at the end which happens to be the first part of the save since you're going back. It's extremely tedious and out of place even if it's the last floor. Then the next save is super easy again for whatever reason. I just don't get it.

In conclusion this game is just a big mess that starts being decent with unique gimmicks and sadly becomes worse the further you get. I'd recommend the first 25 floors or so but stop playing after this. I wanna Descend the 69 also seems a lot better than this game as well, so you should play that instead. This game gets a big no from me.

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Tagged as: Needle Gimmick x_Floor
[1] Like
Rating: 2.0 20       Difficulty: 70 70
Oct 19, 2020
Definetly easier than "descend the 69"

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Rating: 7.7 77       Difficulty: 70 70
May 3, 2020
fun needle and really hard. One of my new favorite :)

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Rating: 8.5 85       Difficulty: 75 75
Mar 27, 2016
Very fun and long needle game with a lot of long saves. Also has an awesome troll area.

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Tagged as: Needle x_Floor
[0] Likes
Rating: 7.4 74       Difficulty: 75 75
Mar 14, 2016
Pretty fun 69-floor game that starts accessible to any skill level, yet still decently challenging, and constantly gets harder and harder as you progress through it. Nice visuals, mostly interesting design (I really hated the Floors 53 and 67, the first one because of the exaggerated use of diamond-like jumps and the second one because of its awful first jumps. Also, nice Floor 60), a fair share of interesting jumps, cool musics. The troll stage is quite funny, and the music fits well with it.
I liked it for the most part. Would recommend.

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Tagged as: Needle Trap Gimmick x_Floor
[0] Likes
Rating: 7.5 75       Difficulty: 79 79
Mar 8, 2016