I wanna touch the Captain

Creator: wonderful

Average Rating
6.8 / 10
Average Difficulty
65.9 / 100
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Needle (3) Avoidance (8) Meme (6) Captain (3)


  • by Anonymous
  • by NightShark115

15 Reviews:


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Tagged as: Captain
[15] Likes
Rating: 7.0 70       Difficulty: 66 66
Oct 2, 2015
The game starts with a platforming screen with invisible blocks in certain locations, as a reference to Leehe's Touch the Ripper. However, while the few fake warps I touched were funny, I mostly just wanted to do the avoidance and grew tired of this pretty fast and had to be told the answer was given in the readme for those who don't enjoy face checking every block for a warp.
As for the fight itself, on normal it's split into two parts, phases 1 and 2, and phases 3 and 4.
For part 1, the aesthetics of the fight were great the whole way through. They weren't the standard fruit/touhou bullets, and they all felt relevant to the parts of the song (in the first phase) and were pretty funny in their own right. All songs used are pretty good too.

The majority of the actual fight was pretty good too, the attacks were interesting enough to deal with except for two in particular.
The first one, right at the start with stars felt like it could be full of crap, choosing whether or not you got to begin the fight.
The second, which I admit may be an issue on my reading skill, was right at the end of phase 1, before the platform. The white stars were fine, however, the bullets that spawned had a variable value on speed/direction/curve angle. This meant that if you were unlucky enough, a lot of bullets would go in your direction, they would curve at a tight angle, and go surprisingly fast. This led to me personally feeling screwed over a ton by this attack. This phase felt similar to grinding good RNG in phase 2 of the final boss of Kamilia 2 by the end.
Second phase, with the platform, was fine. It's a choke-check, which I managed to mess up a few times, not helping with my views on the phase above.

Phase 3 is again mostly fine. Aesthetics are more like the standard colonel but now with a new song, the only attack I felt screwed over by was the 3rd/4th one, where a heart is formed out of small bullets, then these small bullets curve at you with the parts of the previous attack still on screen.
Again, this could also be an issue of my reading, but after what I dealt with above, I wasn't really in the mood.
Phase 4 is similar to Last TIS Phase 5, the "Captain" pictures come on screen and spawn RNG bullets to dodge for a short while. I enjoyed this phase too.

Overall however, the game didn't start on a high note with the platforming screen for me, and it didn't work it's way back with those two attacks in the first part being by far the majority of my deaths. By the time I reached Part 2 I just wanted it to be over.
While it is a decent game, and pretty funny, the RNG parts I have issue with are too much and make this not for me.

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[5] Likes
Rating: 5.5 55       Difficulty: 65 65
Aug 30, 2016
Loved every bit of it. BrokeBack puzzle + Classic Meme + Avoidance = Best Combo

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[4] Likes
Rating: 10.0 100       Difficulty: 65 65
Dec 4, 2015
give it up give it up

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Tagged as: Meme
[3] Likes
Rating: 7.2 72       Difficulty: 68 68
Oct 6, 2015
The one true captain lives.

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Tagged as: Needle Avoidance Meme
[3] Likes
Rating: 7.5 75       Difficulty: 65 65
Oct 2, 2015