Delicious Fruit
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by xElectricZz
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by NightShark115
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by ElCochran90
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by Anonymous
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by ElCochran90
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by NightShark115
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by GaspacoZanis
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by ElCochran90
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by KIRA
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by Bob
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by ElCochran90
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by Bob
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by Bob
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by ElCochran90
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by ElCochran90
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by Bob
Creator's Comments:
Bob [Creator]
I Wanna Get Cultured is an IWBTG fangame that started out as a small joke game between 2 friends imitating the Kamilia series of games. After realizing the potential and interest in a game like this, Pieceofcheese and Paragusrants teamed up to slowly turn the game into a full length project. Pieceofcheese is the producer responsible for all the games programming / coding, music selection, and most boss designs. Paragusrants acted as director by picking the content in terms of which fangames and screens would be represented in the first 6 stages
Paragus: As an avid fangame player and streamer on twitch TV, the games represented act as sort of a retelling of my journey through fangames. All of the games are included are games and screens that struck me as particularly memorable and well-made. The final stage includes original screens designed by pieceofcheese.
The goal is to create a game whose main focus is platforming (not grinding on bosses), and to create a game that would be accessible for newer players, have high replayability, and be a fun speedrun / racing game for more seasoned players. We hope you enjoy the experience this cliff notes version of my journey.
Game features
6 Full Length Fangame Stages!
1 Final Stage of exlusive original screens!
7 Hidden Unlockable Characters (1 Per Stage)!
Memorable Boss Encounters!
Amazing Soundtrack!
Achievement System!
..and an ending you won't soon forget!
After completing the game you will also unlock various new game modes to increase replayability! These modes include replaying the game with various gimmicks applied tot he entire game such as Speed, Ice, Low Gravity, Spotlight, Meteors and more!
In addition, there is a "Random" mode which will ensure you never have the same playthroguh twice! Each time you enter a screen in random you will automatically be assigned one of the variables and locked in for that screen.
For the highly skilled, "Bifficult" mode only for the most experienced and seasoned crazies who want the ultimate challenge. This mode increases the difficulty of each screen substantially by adding more obstacles. Bifficult mode can then be combined with "Random" and the other modes for even a greater unpredictable challenge!
Sunpossible mode is also present as a tribute to the infamous "Churatch" mode. Players will be given a box to enter a number of lives they want to have for the entire game. Once your lives are depleted, your game is over for good! Are you good enough to get the achievement for beating the game on Sunpossible with only 100 lives?
Special thanks goes out to the IWBTG Twitch TV Community "The Wannabes" for their help and support at various stages of this project.
[10] Likes
Paragus: As an avid fangame player and streamer on twitch TV, the games represented act as sort of a retelling of my journey through fangames. All of the games are included are games and screens that struck me as particularly memorable and well-made. The final stage includes original screens designed by pieceofcheese.
The goal is to create a game whose main focus is platforming (not grinding on bosses), and to create a game that would be accessible for newer players, have high replayability, and be a fun speedrun / racing game for more seasoned players. We hope you enjoy the experience this cliff notes version of my journey.
Game features
6 Full Length Fangame Stages!
1 Final Stage of exlusive original screens!
7 Hidden Unlockable Characters (1 Per Stage)!
Memorable Boss Encounters!
Amazing Soundtrack!
Achievement System!
..and an ending you won't soon forget!
After completing the game you will also unlock various new game modes to increase replayability! These modes include replaying the game with various gimmicks applied tot he entire game such as Speed, Ice, Low Gravity, Spotlight, Meteors and more!
In addition, there is a "Random" mode which will ensure you never have the same playthroguh twice! Each time you enter a screen in random you will automatically be assigned one of the variables and locked in for that screen.
For the highly skilled, "Bifficult" mode only for the most experienced and seasoned crazies who want the ultimate challenge. This mode increases the difficulty of each screen substantially by adding more obstacles. Bifficult mode can then be combined with "Random" and the other modes for even a greater unpredictable challenge!
Sunpossible mode is also present as a tribute to the infamous "Churatch" mode. Players will be given a box to enter a number of lives they want to have for the entire game. Once your lives are depleted, your game is over for good! Are you good enough to get the achievement for beating the game on Sunpossible with only 100 lives?
Special thanks goes out to the IWBTG Twitch TV Community "The Wannabes" for their help and support at various stages of this project.
Rating: N/A
Difficulty: N/A
Feb 10, 2015
159 Reviews:
Fro27y
Loved the game. The only thing i did not like is minesweeper.
[4] Likes
Rating: 9.9 99
Difficulty: 70 70
Mar 23, 2015
Leslie211
Rating based on normal mode
It was very meh. There's a lot of things in this game that haven't aged well. This can be noticed by the humor Especially the random R slur at the end?? which i completely forgot about, but i understand that the humor isn't as good as it was, since this was made in 2014.
The screen picks were very average, nothing really stood out. I did enjoy getting the secrets, the outfits were pretty neat. I really liked the chase with Mike Tyson, i thought it was well executed.
The final stage is an original stage, which was my personal favorite part. It had a good song choice, and i enjoyed some of the needle. But then boom, you get hit with the final boss. The final boss wasn't very good, some of the attacks were really boring, and i feel like it could've been so much better.
Would I recommend this game? Not really. You should probably play the sequel instead.
[3] Likes
It was very meh. There's a lot of things in this game that haven't aged well. This can be noticed by the humor Especially the random R slur at the end?? which i completely forgot about, but i understand that the humor isn't as good as it was, since this was made in 2014.
The screen picks were very average, nothing really stood out. I did enjoy getting the secrets, the outfits were pretty neat. I really liked the chase with Mike Tyson, i thought it was well executed.
The final stage is an original stage, which was my personal favorite part. It had a good song choice, and i enjoyed some of the needle. But then boom, you get hit with the final boss. The final boss wasn't very good, some of the attacks were really boring, and i feel like it could've been so much better.
Would I recommend this game? Not really. You should probably play the sequel instead.
Rating: 4.0 40
Difficulty: 65 65
Oct 8, 2022
GaspacoZanis
Spoilers ahead!
To understand my motivation of writing review for this game, just look how many times I have dropped game and after how many weeks after beating the whole game I actually started writing this review. Like, really, I started playing this game somewhere around July or August 2018, and first time I dropped this game when I got to I wanna be the Dark Blue screen, because it seemed unfun for me. Then when I returned to the game I got bored on I Don't Wanna Be The Gay tower, because of its length. After beating it on September I gave up on I wanna be the Churatch second screen (even though I liked it) and returned only after a year, which means that on 14th of September 2019 I finished this game. However the review I started to write only on 21st of October, more than month after beating the game.
What is the reason for such a low motivation level to write a review? The reason is that I personally very disliked this game at several points. Especially, I hate these joke bosses, random selection of screens, which looks unaesthetically altogether and also random soundtracks, which sometimes just annoys the player.
This is the reason, why I don't see a point to rate everything separately like I did in I Wanna Kill The Kamilia 2. This time I am going to rate in more wider blocks, which I choose by music blocks. Each soundtrack follows some important part of the game and music itself makes experience very different, so I see a reason why for stage 5 and stage 6 (including stage rush) I will give several ratings. Also I won't give difficulty ratings, since the whole game, except the final boss, is more or less made in the same difficulty – around 40-45.
I won't give rating for the intro and title screen, but I have to say that it is quite boring, in my opinion and already pull back from playing this game, at least me.
To understand the problems of aesthetics just look of first 3 screens of the first stage. I wanna be the Gate jump followed by I wanna be the 8bit and then followed by I wanna be the Resistance. Each screen individually without context is not bad themselves, I would even say that I can praise creators for choosing one of the best stages from I wanna be the 8bit, which are actually fun. I wanna be the Gate jump itself is not bad either if it would be some meme medley or so what. But in the context of I wanna get Cultured it just does not work. It looks like a randomly chosen screens for the medley without even thinking about how good they fit together. Mixing minimalistic one-jump game with 8 bit style just does not work, it looks like a mess, sorry. And then choosing more or less but generic moving fruit screen from I wanna be the Resistance in this context does not help either. If after I wanna be the Gate jump there was, for example, I wanna be the Diamond Jump, then it would work. If after I wanna be the 8bit there was appropriate Super Kid Bros. 3 or other retro game, then it would look very good together. And even I wanna be the Resistance looked better if before it there was I wanna be the Gatherer screen, which is used in later stages. Then awful I wanna be the Dark Blue screen, which just does not look good at all. Also what has I wanna be the Lizardmanmaster9.5 Impossible 100 Floors missed already in the first stage? Also soundtrack for this stage fits only for I wanna be the Sunflower Fairy Kid mode, in my opinion. Even the best screen from I wanna be the Tribute does not help to make stage better... And I won't even bother talking about other screens, which some looks visually appaling and unfun, like I Wanna be the Scapegoat one, or was meant to be funny, but just are not funny, like I wanna be the Guy. Well, at least some screens are more playable than others and that some screens separately looks OK, I guess, but I personally already hated this game after first stage. Not giving rating lower, since this is more or less easy to play, so the suffering should end more or less but quickly.
Rating: 2.5
I will rate each boss also individually by how funny they are, since that was the idea of this game – to make “funny” bosses. Well, for the first boss we have in paint drawn Guy, I guess. It shoots big bullet on himself and not immediately but randomly dies, saying some silly stuff with robotic voice. And then “funny” stage clear screen, which soundtrack does not even finish when you enter a new stage. Ha, ha very funny... No. Giving 1 just for the sprite of the Guy.
Rating: 1
Stage 2 begins actually more or less decent, since soundtrack I think fits well for I Wanna be the GreeeeN and I wanna make a Sandwich, however transition from to other game looks quite questionable, but fine. I more hated random screens from I wanna be the HeavenTrap2 and I wanna be the Explorer, which both looks awful, both just does not fit together and for both this soundtrack also does not fit. Really, who puts white & black screen after retro-like screen? I would understand if there was something similar, but not such a contrasts. Also there is some secret on I wanna be the Explorer, but I didn't bother looking what it was. Anyway, these problems are more or less on all screens, maybe I only found that I wanna be the Showdown fits very well for soundtrack and looks also good after random I wanna see the Moon screen, which is quite surprising. But that is pretty much it, everything afterwards looks like stage 1, except why that “Let's GoGoGo” screen does not have information about what game that is, but I wanna be the Fangame! Does? That does not make any sense. Also quite mediocre I wanna kill the Guy, in my opinion. I don't remember how fun this stage was, but I guess it was more unfun, but not like something too frustrating. Better than stage 2 from some aspects, but still nothing worth seeing.
Rating: 3
Second boss is Geezer, which shoots Gumba and then crashes. Then there are more “corrupted” I guess text and that is all. Well, at least first boss tried to be funny unlike this one, in my opinion.
Rating: 0.5
Look. Stage 3 soundtrack itself is not bad, it is very awesome, but for some reason from all chosen games the only one for which this soundtrack kind of works is I wanna be the Catharsis and maybe also I can't speak Loanwords!, but definitely not for Mario theme games, like I wanna be the Chair, I wanna be the Chokochoko or I wanna be the Boshy, it just looks like out of topic. Also what I wanna be the Chokochoko have missed here? Anyway, sadly I wanna be the Catharsis looks bad in stage 3, since games before and after just ruins the whole picture. Why there are 2 screens which looks medicore and which plays unfun? Like, really, I wanna be the Chair and I wanna be the Diverse are not fun at all. And similar feelings I had for many screens, including (if I recall correctly) on I wanna be the 3200min and I wanna reach Heaven. Also is it only me, or something is wrong with visuals for I wanna be the Boshy screen? Anyway, I guess it is even worse than stage 1, to be honest, and I don't think that I have to analyze all other screens to prove my position.
Rating: 2
Boss 3 is Solgryn. Well, kid says that he isn't Solgryn and then he leaves. Oh, I had to laugh? I forget that I had to... Also that sprite is not funny at all, kids...
Rating: 0
Stage 4 basically consists from 2 games - I Don't Wanna Be The Gay and I wanna appreciate Meteor stream, even though the length of the first one is so long, that if there was only one game and boss from that game, then it would be more logical, in my opinion. Or is it a reference to the length of the boss from I wanna appreciate Meteor stream? I don't know, but I can say that I personally disliked this stage. It is very repetitive and boring, in my opinion. You just climb on that tower for so long that it gets annoying very quickly. Ice gimmicks does not help either. Soundtrack is mediocre, but not horrible in this case. Aesthetically even these 2 games don't fit together... Also random fangame community people are surplus I think, it just seems too random, especially, if this game will play someone who is not familiar with fangame community at all. Still, it wasn't as annoying as some stuff in previous stage, so I will give this game the same rating as for the first stage.
Rating: 2.5
Well, boss 4 at least tries to be funny. I kind of liked some ideas which were referenced from original, however I wish it was longer, then maybe it would be more funny. In current state this is still below average, sorry.
Rating: 1.5
Stage 5 is divided in 2 parts, so I will give opinion each of it. Each part consists from 8 games. For the first part I can say that soundtrack this time is out of context for any of screens (maybe only for first screen - I wanna be the Churatch, but that is a maximum). It looks so random when I look on screens like I wanna celebrate 100 or I wanna be the Pleasure. Screens together also look all random, since every screen has its own style and together all styles don't blend in. Also length of I wannyaaaaaaaaaa is just too long in comparison with other screen, in my opinion. Also there was games, which I just wasn't fan of, like Not Another Needle Game or I wanna be the Crimson. Still, I actually don't remember disliking this stage very much and more or less, but it looks decent, since screens itself are more fun to play, I guess. I don't even have bad memories of Not Another Needle Game, even though I am totally not fan of such a gameplay. It may seem random, but I guess I can give higher rating this time, since at least it does not seem like a complete mess, but it still has a problems.
Rating: 4
Part 2 of this stage is also as questionable as the first part. Soundtrack itself fits very well for screens like I wanna be the Conscience, I wanna be the Purple Zone and also a little bit for I wanna be the Gatherer, but it just looks awful in context of screens like I wanna be the White & Black, I wanna Rose Gear or I wanna be the rainbow MIKU. Also I remember that I actually very liked gameplay of I wanna be the Purple Zone screen and some ideas of I wanna be the Conscience, but I just hate that random I wanna be the rainbow MIKU and I wanna be the ArioTrap screens. Aesthetically transitions from screen to another still looks random, but luckily some screens made experience a little bit better. And this the only reason, why I can give the same rating for this part of the stage as for the first part. May be I am too kind, but I just find it now less annoying than other stages.
Rating: 4
Boss 5 is actually quite original. I liked the idea of Rainbow Tyson and its meme attack. Maybe the final spinning is quite off-topic, but so far it is definitely the best meme boss what was in this game. This game gets better and better?
Rating: 4.5
Stage 6 is actually mix of different previous stage games with red title screens idea is interesting, and I liked that it changed soundtrack after each 2 (or 3) games, since it looks a lot better.
First part is actually one of those which I hated the most. It consists of I wanna be the 8bit and I wanna be the Diverse. Even though I hated that stage in original I wanna be the 8bit, I have to say that here the soundtrack makes it look a little bit better and I actually don't remember how fun or unfun it was because of this. But my main complain is I wanna be the Diverse, which seemed quite random, and could even softlock you, and actually I didn't know, at first, that there is an option to teleport to the start of the room, since it is not obvious, but fine. Nothing special, in my opinion.
Rating: 2.5
Even though I am not fan of I wanna make a Sandwich and I wanna enjoy the Game2 screens, I can say that soundtracks totally fit for dynamics of the screens both visually and gameplay. Maybe it isn't as fun as I wished, but it isn't atrocious. The only complain is that screens don't fit together very well, in my opinion.
Rating: 4.5
I have to say that following soundtrack fits really well for I wanna be the Catharsis screen, and I remember that I actually had fun figuring out what to do there, even though visually it isn't so appealing for me. I even liked idea to do the long way in I wanna be the White & Black screen, but I didn't find it fun to play, to be honest, and it didn't fit well with soundtrack either. Still, it was OK, I guess.
Rating: 4
The next one is hard to rate properly. On one hand, the soundtrack gives very dynamic contrast to previous more clam track, and kind of fits for I wanna be the 3200min and I wanna go across the Rainbow, but in the same time something felt awkward there. I think I wanna go across the Rainbow just does not seem so dynamic in visuals for such a soundtrack, which ruins the experience, in my opinion, here.
Rating: 3
The following I wanna be the Churatch screen is actually my favorite screen in the whole game, and I don't care that I disliked following I wanna celebrate 100 screen afterwards. Screen is quite hard, which was reason why I dropped, but I had so much fun with it. It has amazing visuals which totally fit with soundtrack, and gameplay is so fun! I really adore this screen, and it is sad that following screen has some random 'Pussy save' with random name, which seemed out of topic, and where you can actually softlock you, as I saw from one person. Still, I will rate high enough this segment.
Rating: 6.5
The last 3 screens in the stage I actually disliked, since, in my opinion 'Stereo Madness' just looks very random in this context, even though for someone it may seem very fitting thing. All 3 screens here I personally didn't really like in gameplay either. It just seemed boring for me, and I wasn't fan of any of gimmicks here. Maybe I am too critical, I don't know.
Rating: 3
After that starts stage rush. Stage rush idea and room is very well-designed and I really liked its retro style here. But I will rate every portal separately (boss and needle will be included together in rating). The only thing, which seemed quite weird for me where the big title cards, but that is only me.
If you go down left, then you get to I wanna be the DPG screen.Very long screen, which would be much better if it was shorter. I liked visuals and music a little bit, but gameplay I think may feel quite repetitive at the end. Boss is very weird, and personally I disliked it, since it didn't seem funny at all.
Rating: 3
If you go down right, then you get to actually pretty interesting screen. It is screen from I wanna make the Novelty. Going up with such a dynamic track was actually fun. The only complain were some quite hard jumps here and there, but I don't think that it is a big problem. It still was quite fun for me. Boss was quite funny, I guess?
Rating: 5.5
Upper left is I wanna go across the Rainbow section. I don't know how in the original game was, but here it mixes I guess all stages altogether and changes like rainbow colors, however for some reason twice. It does not really follow the principle of double rainbow, since colors should g backwards, starting with purple and ending with red, not oppositely, which just made the whole experience quite boring on second section, at least for me. Soudntrack kind of fits, but I wasn't fan of such gameplay, my apologies. Interesting meme boss, but nothing special.
Rating: 3.5
Upper right is I wanna be the Locus tower section. It is made in original style but the fact music does not restart make everything a lot better. Still, gameplay was too repetitive for me to enjoy it. The idea of boss I actually liked, it was a little bit funny, I have to admit.
Rating: 3
After that is first kind of real boss. It is meme boss, which is a parody of I wanna be the Crimson, using different previous bosses, which all use their own attacks. Each boss has 2 HP, so it shouldn't take a lot of time. Was unexpected for me, but I liked the idea of it, even though it was very easy, once you know the strategy. The only thing I disliked was cutscene after, which seemed very random and unoriginal for me, using different previous bosses.
Rating: 3.5
After that starts original stage, which consists from 5 parts: 1. Trigger needle 2. Trigger needle with platforms 3.Jump refreshers 4. Just a needle 5. Infinite jump. I have mixed feelings about this. It is designed pretty good and music kind of fits here, but I didn't have fun as much as I could. It felt for me that 4th and 5th sections were surplus, and that 3 sections would be OK. First 2 sections has interesting gameplay and can be fun to play. Third one is quite precise at some point and can be also unfun along with some pretty fun saves. Why 4th section exists I don't know though. The last section seemed pretty decent I guess though. I don't know what more to say. Average, I guess.
Rating: 5
After that starts the last platforming section, where you have to run from Tyson. I don't know why this section exists, it just seems too random in context of this game, and looks like if creators were trying to rip-off I Wanna Kill The Kamilia 2. It has annoying gameplay, medicore visuals which does not fit with soundtrack at all and some mediocre jokes. The only one which is kind of funny is Kamilia corner meme, but that is all. This game wouldn't change much without this chase, to be honest.
Rating: 2
After that starts some dialogue with kid and Biff – final boss. Final boss is the real boss, which consists from 3 phases, and I will rate each phase separately, even though soundtrack is the same for every phase.
First phase I found pretty fun more or less. It has several interesting pattern attacks, especially, the one with rockets and random cars or what is it? And after that is random bouncing projectiles with random falling lasers from up. Sometimes it gives the bad RNG, but overall is not as bad as it could be. Also music fits really well for this boss. The thing which makes all phases unenjoyable is the last attack, which is randomly chosen screens from different stages without saves and with randomly chosen buff or nerf. Each phase adds more and more, and at the end there will be such options as inverted controls and spotlight, and such stuff like low gravity which can help a lot. I didn't spend a lot of time here and didn't see all screens, but I can say that luckily I had I wanna get the gold ribbon, which is probably one of the easier ones. More or less, but it is still enjoyable. Took me somewhere around 30-40 minutes if I recall correctly.
Rating: 6
Second phase for many people is the hardest one, since the beginning is very RNG-dependent and platforming screens are more harder, but somehow I managed to get good RNG. I literally had 3 times in a row I wanna be the Catharsis and nothing else. This is the reason, why the phase took me like 20 minutes or so. Also, I liked that screen got red here, it fits well. Still, I liked first phase more.
Rating: 5
Third phase, which is the final one, was the hardest one just because of the platforming. This phase took me somehow 1-2 hours, and I really was frustrated, even though I liked first half of it a lot. I liked that everything got here red and I liked patterns here. It was really fun to figure out what to do and was also fun to preform it. The first problems began with RNG attack, where it is actually quite easy to die if you do not pay attention where projectiles is going to spawn, but the biggest problem is how random the final attack is. Sorry, but every screen is very hard to do even casually, the only lucky combination can be low-gravity I wanna be the 3200min screen, but even there I choked, and it isn't still free. Why there exists option of inverted controls, spotlight and high-gravity. It just annoys when you get those because it is almost 100% chance that are you going to die. Also the only more or less acceptable is screen is from I wanna go across the Rainbow, but there I found last jump hard to perform correctly. And when you understand that you just wait for good RNG, it really make on your nerves. Luckily, I somehow randomly cleared that last jump of I wanna go across the Rainbow, but it was painful, I won't lie. Just ruined phase, in my opinion. Also last spamming is quite silly, but whatever. Really, the needle took me around 10.5 hours and first 2 phases around hour, and I didn't expect that last phase would be so much harder and so unfair, which is a real disappointment...
Difficulty: 52
Rating: 2 (sorry)
After that there is ending and credits. I won't spoil what happens with kid, but it is specific.
Anyway, I would like to give bonus rating for some good technical things, which I actually liked in this game. I can say that I liked the idea of stage rush and the whole designed room of stage rush. I like that authors tried to make a lot of additional content and I can praise for that, but in the same time I cannot give too high, since it has its own problems, like you can easily softlock at some places (luckily, there is button to respawn on the screen), it also has some bugged places on some screens and other things. This is why bonus rating is average.
Bonus rating: 5
Total rating without bonus rating: 3.2
Total rating with bonus rating: 3.3
Overall, I can say, that maybe I am too critical at some point and maybe too subjective, but I just want to say that I disliked this game, and I don't want to return to it at all, since I disliked the main content. It has potential and some good stuff, but has ruins all over the place. Yes, I like I wanna be the Churatch 2nd screen and some phases of final boss, and some other things, but that does not compensate the horrible aesthetics, random stuff and screens and not funny jokes and memes. I am disappointed, and I would recommend to stay away from this 'chef d'oeuvre'. Highly wouldn't recommend for anyone.
[3] Likes
To understand my motivation of writing review for this game, just look how many times I have dropped game and after how many weeks after beating the whole game I actually started writing this review. Like, really, I started playing this game somewhere around July or August 2018, and first time I dropped this game when I got to I wanna be the Dark Blue screen, because it seemed unfun for me. Then when I returned to the game I got bored on I Don't Wanna Be The Gay tower, because of its length. After beating it on September I gave up on I wanna be the Churatch second screen (even though I liked it) and returned only after a year, which means that on 14th of September 2019 I finished this game. However the review I started to write only on 21st of October, more than month after beating the game.
What is the reason for such a low motivation level to write a review? The reason is that I personally very disliked this game at several points. Especially, I hate these joke bosses, random selection of screens, which looks unaesthetically altogether and also random soundtracks, which sometimes just annoys the player.
This is the reason, why I don't see a point to rate everything separately like I did in I Wanna Kill The Kamilia 2. This time I am going to rate in more wider blocks, which I choose by music blocks. Each soundtrack follows some important part of the game and music itself makes experience very different, so I see a reason why for stage 5 and stage 6 (including stage rush) I will give several ratings. Also I won't give difficulty ratings, since the whole game, except the final boss, is more or less made in the same difficulty – around 40-45.
I won't give rating for the intro and title screen, but I have to say that it is quite boring, in my opinion and already pull back from playing this game, at least me.
To understand the problems of aesthetics just look of first 3 screens of the first stage. I wanna be the Gate jump followed by I wanna be the 8bit and then followed by I wanna be the Resistance. Each screen individually without context is not bad themselves, I would even say that I can praise creators for choosing one of the best stages from I wanna be the 8bit, which are actually fun. I wanna be the Gate jump itself is not bad either if it would be some meme medley or so what. But in the context of I wanna get Cultured it just does not work. It looks like a randomly chosen screens for the medley without even thinking about how good they fit together. Mixing minimalistic one-jump game with 8 bit style just does not work, it looks like a mess, sorry. And then choosing more or less but generic moving fruit screen from I wanna be the Resistance in this context does not help either. If after I wanna be the Gate jump there was, for example, I wanna be the Diamond Jump, then it would work. If after I wanna be the 8bit there was appropriate Super Kid Bros. 3 or other retro game, then it would look very good together. And even I wanna be the Resistance looked better if before it there was I wanna be the Gatherer screen, which is used in later stages. Then awful I wanna be the Dark Blue screen, which just does not look good at all. Also what has I wanna be the Lizardmanmaster9.5 Impossible 100 Floors missed already in the first stage? Also soundtrack for this stage fits only for I wanna be the Sunflower Fairy Kid mode, in my opinion. Even the best screen from I wanna be the Tribute does not help to make stage better... And I won't even bother talking about other screens, which some looks visually appaling and unfun, like I Wanna be the Scapegoat one, or was meant to be funny, but just are not funny, like I wanna be the Guy. Well, at least some screens are more playable than others and that some screens separately looks OK, I guess, but I personally already hated this game after first stage. Not giving rating lower, since this is more or less easy to play, so the suffering should end more or less but quickly.
Rating: 2.5
I will rate each boss also individually by how funny they are, since that was the idea of this game – to make “funny” bosses. Well, for the first boss we have in paint drawn Guy, I guess. It shoots big bullet on himself and not immediately but randomly dies, saying some silly stuff with robotic voice. And then “funny” stage clear screen, which soundtrack does not even finish when you enter a new stage. Ha, ha very funny... No. Giving 1 just for the sprite of the Guy.
Rating: 1
Stage 2 begins actually more or less decent, since soundtrack I think fits well for I Wanna be the GreeeeN and I wanna make a Sandwich, however transition from to other game looks quite questionable, but fine. I more hated random screens from I wanna be the HeavenTrap2 and I wanna be the Explorer, which both looks awful, both just does not fit together and for both this soundtrack also does not fit. Really, who puts white & black screen after retro-like screen? I would understand if there was something similar, but not such a contrasts. Also there is some secret on I wanna be the Explorer, but I didn't bother looking what it was. Anyway, these problems are more or less on all screens, maybe I only found that I wanna be the Showdown fits very well for soundtrack and looks also good after random I wanna see the Moon screen, which is quite surprising. But that is pretty much it, everything afterwards looks like stage 1, except why that “Let's GoGoGo” screen does not have information about what game that is, but I wanna be the Fangame! Does? That does not make any sense. Also quite mediocre I wanna kill the Guy, in my opinion. I don't remember how fun this stage was, but I guess it was more unfun, but not like something too frustrating. Better than stage 2 from some aspects, but still nothing worth seeing.
Rating: 3
Second boss is Geezer, which shoots Gumba and then crashes. Then there are more “corrupted” I guess text and that is all. Well, at least first boss tried to be funny unlike this one, in my opinion.
Rating: 0.5
Look. Stage 3 soundtrack itself is not bad, it is very awesome, but for some reason from all chosen games the only one for which this soundtrack kind of works is I wanna be the Catharsis and maybe also I can't speak Loanwords!, but definitely not for Mario theme games, like I wanna be the Chair, I wanna be the Chokochoko or I wanna be the Boshy, it just looks like out of topic. Also what I wanna be the Chokochoko have missed here? Anyway, sadly I wanna be the Catharsis looks bad in stage 3, since games before and after just ruins the whole picture. Why there are 2 screens which looks medicore and which plays unfun? Like, really, I wanna be the Chair and I wanna be the Diverse are not fun at all. And similar feelings I had for many screens, including (if I recall correctly) on I wanna be the 3200min and I wanna reach Heaven. Also is it only me, or something is wrong with visuals for I wanna be the Boshy screen? Anyway, I guess it is even worse than stage 1, to be honest, and I don't think that I have to analyze all other screens to prove my position.
Rating: 2
Boss 3 is Solgryn. Well, kid says that he isn't Solgryn and then he leaves. Oh, I had to laugh? I forget that I had to... Also that sprite is not funny at all, kids...
Rating: 0
Stage 4 basically consists from 2 games - I Don't Wanna Be The Gay and I wanna appreciate Meteor stream, even though the length of the first one is so long, that if there was only one game and boss from that game, then it would be more logical, in my opinion. Or is it a reference to the length of the boss from I wanna appreciate Meteor stream? I don't know, but I can say that I personally disliked this stage. It is very repetitive and boring, in my opinion. You just climb on that tower for so long that it gets annoying very quickly. Ice gimmicks does not help either. Soundtrack is mediocre, but not horrible in this case. Aesthetically even these 2 games don't fit together... Also random fangame community people are surplus I think, it just seems too random, especially, if this game will play someone who is not familiar with fangame community at all. Still, it wasn't as annoying as some stuff in previous stage, so I will give this game the same rating as for the first stage.
Rating: 2.5
Well, boss 4 at least tries to be funny. I kind of liked some ideas which were referenced from original, however I wish it was longer, then maybe it would be more funny. In current state this is still below average, sorry.
Rating: 1.5
Stage 5 is divided in 2 parts, so I will give opinion each of it. Each part consists from 8 games. For the first part I can say that soundtrack this time is out of context for any of screens (maybe only for first screen - I wanna be the Churatch, but that is a maximum). It looks so random when I look on screens like I wanna celebrate 100 or I wanna be the Pleasure. Screens together also look all random, since every screen has its own style and together all styles don't blend in. Also length of I wannyaaaaaaaaaa is just too long in comparison with other screen, in my opinion. Also there was games, which I just wasn't fan of, like Not Another Needle Game or I wanna be the Crimson. Still, I actually don't remember disliking this stage very much and more or less, but it looks decent, since screens itself are more fun to play, I guess. I don't even have bad memories of Not Another Needle Game, even though I am totally not fan of such a gameplay. It may seem random, but I guess I can give higher rating this time, since at least it does not seem like a complete mess, but it still has a problems.
Rating: 4
Part 2 of this stage is also as questionable as the first part. Soundtrack itself fits very well for screens like I wanna be the Conscience, I wanna be the Purple Zone and also a little bit for I wanna be the Gatherer, but it just looks awful in context of screens like I wanna be the White & Black, I wanna Rose Gear or I wanna be the rainbow MIKU. Also I remember that I actually very liked gameplay of I wanna be the Purple Zone screen and some ideas of I wanna be the Conscience, but I just hate that random I wanna be the rainbow MIKU and I wanna be the ArioTrap screens. Aesthetically transitions from screen to another still looks random, but luckily some screens made experience a little bit better. And this the only reason, why I can give the same rating for this part of the stage as for the first part. May be I am too kind, but I just find it now less annoying than other stages.
Rating: 4
Boss 5 is actually quite original. I liked the idea of Rainbow Tyson and its meme attack. Maybe the final spinning is quite off-topic, but so far it is definitely the best meme boss what was in this game. This game gets better and better?
Rating: 4.5
Stage 6 is actually mix of different previous stage games with red title screens idea is interesting, and I liked that it changed soundtrack after each 2 (or 3) games, since it looks a lot better.
First part is actually one of those which I hated the most. It consists of I wanna be the 8bit and I wanna be the Diverse. Even though I hated that stage in original I wanna be the 8bit, I have to say that here the soundtrack makes it look a little bit better and I actually don't remember how fun or unfun it was because of this. But my main complain is I wanna be the Diverse, which seemed quite random, and could even softlock you, and actually I didn't know, at first, that there is an option to teleport to the start of the room, since it is not obvious, but fine. Nothing special, in my opinion.
Rating: 2.5
Even though I am not fan of I wanna make a Sandwich and I wanna enjoy the Game2 screens, I can say that soundtracks totally fit for dynamics of the screens both visually and gameplay. Maybe it isn't as fun as I wished, but it isn't atrocious. The only complain is that screens don't fit together very well, in my opinion.
Rating: 4.5
I have to say that following soundtrack fits really well for I wanna be the Catharsis screen, and I remember that I actually had fun figuring out what to do there, even though visually it isn't so appealing for me. I even liked idea to do the long way in I wanna be the White & Black screen, but I didn't find it fun to play, to be honest, and it didn't fit well with soundtrack either. Still, it was OK, I guess.
Rating: 4
The next one is hard to rate properly. On one hand, the soundtrack gives very dynamic contrast to previous more clam track, and kind of fits for I wanna be the 3200min and I wanna go across the Rainbow, but in the same time something felt awkward there. I think I wanna go across the Rainbow just does not seem so dynamic in visuals for such a soundtrack, which ruins the experience, in my opinion, here.
Rating: 3
The following I wanna be the Churatch screen is actually my favorite screen in the whole game, and I don't care that I disliked following I wanna celebrate 100 screen afterwards. Screen is quite hard, which was reason why I dropped, but I had so much fun with it. It has amazing visuals which totally fit with soundtrack, and gameplay is so fun! I really adore this screen, and it is sad that following screen has some random 'Pussy save' with random name, which seemed out of topic, and where you can actually softlock you, as I saw from one person. Still, I will rate high enough this segment.
Rating: 6.5
The last 3 screens in the stage I actually disliked, since, in my opinion 'Stereo Madness' just looks very random in this context, even though for someone it may seem very fitting thing. All 3 screens here I personally didn't really like in gameplay either. It just seemed boring for me, and I wasn't fan of any of gimmicks here. Maybe I am too critical, I don't know.
Rating: 3
After that starts stage rush. Stage rush idea and room is very well-designed and I really liked its retro style here. But I will rate every portal separately (boss and needle will be included together in rating). The only thing, which seemed quite weird for me where the big title cards, but that is only me.
If you go down left, then you get to I wanna be the DPG screen.Very long screen, which would be much better if it was shorter. I liked visuals and music a little bit, but gameplay I think may feel quite repetitive at the end. Boss is very weird, and personally I disliked it, since it didn't seem funny at all.
Rating: 3
If you go down right, then you get to actually pretty interesting screen. It is screen from I wanna make the Novelty. Going up with such a dynamic track was actually fun. The only complain were some quite hard jumps here and there, but I don't think that it is a big problem. It still was quite fun for me. Boss was quite funny, I guess?
Rating: 5.5
Upper left is I wanna go across the Rainbow section. I don't know how in the original game was, but here it mixes I guess all stages altogether and changes like rainbow colors, however for some reason twice. It does not really follow the principle of double rainbow, since colors should g backwards, starting with purple and ending with red, not oppositely, which just made the whole experience quite boring on second section, at least for me. Soudntrack kind of fits, but I wasn't fan of such gameplay, my apologies. Interesting meme boss, but nothing special.
Rating: 3.5
Upper right is I wanna be the Locus tower section. It is made in original style but the fact music does not restart make everything a lot better. Still, gameplay was too repetitive for me to enjoy it. The idea of boss I actually liked, it was a little bit funny, I have to admit.
Rating: 3
After that is first kind of real boss. It is meme boss, which is a parody of I wanna be the Crimson, using different previous bosses, which all use their own attacks. Each boss has 2 HP, so it shouldn't take a lot of time. Was unexpected for me, but I liked the idea of it, even though it was very easy, once you know the strategy. The only thing I disliked was cutscene after, which seemed very random and unoriginal for me, using different previous bosses.
Rating: 3.5
After that starts original stage, which consists from 5 parts: 1. Trigger needle 2. Trigger needle with platforms 3.Jump refreshers 4. Just a needle 5. Infinite jump. I have mixed feelings about this. It is designed pretty good and music kind of fits here, but I didn't have fun as much as I could. It felt for me that 4th and 5th sections were surplus, and that 3 sections would be OK. First 2 sections has interesting gameplay and can be fun to play. Third one is quite precise at some point and can be also unfun along with some pretty fun saves. Why 4th section exists I don't know though. The last section seemed pretty decent I guess though. I don't know what more to say. Average, I guess.
Rating: 5
After that starts the last platforming section, where you have to run from Tyson. I don't know why this section exists, it just seems too random in context of this game, and looks like if creators were trying to rip-off I Wanna Kill The Kamilia 2. It has annoying gameplay, medicore visuals which does not fit with soundtrack at all and some mediocre jokes. The only one which is kind of funny is Kamilia corner meme, but that is all. This game wouldn't change much without this chase, to be honest.
Rating: 2
After that starts some dialogue with kid and Biff – final boss. Final boss is the real boss, which consists from 3 phases, and I will rate each phase separately, even though soundtrack is the same for every phase.
First phase I found pretty fun more or less. It has several interesting pattern attacks, especially, the one with rockets and random cars or what is it? And after that is random bouncing projectiles with random falling lasers from up. Sometimes it gives the bad RNG, but overall is not as bad as it could be. Also music fits really well for this boss. The thing which makes all phases unenjoyable is the last attack, which is randomly chosen screens from different stages without saves and with randomly chosen buff or nerf. Each phase adds more and more, and at the end there will be such options as inverted controls and spotlight, and such stuff like low gravity which can help a lot. I didn't spend a lot of time here and didn't see all screens, but I can say that luckily I had I wanna get the gold ribbon, which is probably one of the easier ones. More or less, but it is still enjoyable. Took me somewhere around 30-40 minutes if I recall correctly.
Rating: 6
Second phase for many people is the hardest one, since the beginning is very RNG-dependent and platforming screens are more harder, but somehow I managed to get good RNG. I literally had 3 times in a row I wanna be the Catharsis and nothing else. This is the reason, why the phase took me like 20 minutes or so. Also, I liked that screen got red here, it fits well. Still, I liked first phase more.
Rating: 5
Third phase, which is the final one, was the hardest one just because of the platforming. This phase took me somehow 1-2 hours, and I really was frustrated, even though I liked first half of it a lot. I liked that everything got here red and I liked patterns here. It was really fun to figure out what to do and was also fun to preform it. The first problems began with RNG attack, where it is actually quite easy to die if you do not pay attention where projectiles is going to spawn, but the biggest problem is how random the final attack is. Sorry, but every screen is very hard to do even casually, the only lucky combination can be low-gravity I wanna be the 3200min screen, but even there I choked, and it isn't still free. Why there exists option of inverted controls, spotlight and high-gravity. It just annoys when you get those because it is almost 100% chance that are you going to die. Also the only more or less acceptable is screen is from I wanna go across the Rainbow, but there I found last jump hard to perform correctly. And when you understand that you just wait for good RNG, it really make on your nerves. Luckily, I somehow randomly cleared that last jump of I wanna go across the Rainbow, but it was painful, I won't lie. Just ruined phase, in my opinion. Also last spamming is quite silly, but whatever. Really, the needle took me around 10.5 hours and first 2 phases around hour, and I didn't expect that last phase would be so much harder and so unfair, which is a real disappointment...
Difficulty: 52
Rating: 2 (sorry)
After that there is ending and credits. I won't spoil what happens with kid, but it is specific.
Anyway, I would like to give bonus rating for some good technical things, which I actually liked in this game. I can say that I liked the idea of stage rush and the whole designed room of stage rush. I like that authors tried to make a lot of additional content and I can praise for that, but in the same time I cannot give too high, since it has its own problems, like you can easily softlock at some places (luckily, there is button to respawn on the screen), it also has some bugged places on some screens and other things. This is why bonus rating is average.
Bonus rating: 5
Total rating without bonus rating: 3.2
Total rating with bonus rating: 3.3
Overall, I can say, that maybe I am too critical at some point and maybe too subjective, but I just want to say that I disliked this game, and I don't want to return to it at all, since I disliked the main content. It has potential and some good stuff, but has ruins all over the place. Yes, I like I wanna be the Churatch 2nd screen and some phases of final boss, and some other things, but that does not compensate the horrible aesthetics, random stuff and screens and not funny jokes and memes. I am disappointed, and I would recommend to stay away from this 'chef d'oeuvre'. Highly wouldn't recommend for anyone.
Rating: 3.3 33
Difficulty: 52 52
Oct 21, 2019